Varney for England

Do Blackpool really stand any chance of surviving the drop in the richest and arguably the best League in World football?

If the newly promoted club are to keep themselves above the relegation zone come May then they will have to score goals and that would mean some fairly unlikely Premier League players hitting the back of the net. Marlon Harewood, an average striker who has spent the past few years either on Aston Villa's bench or on loan in the Championship looks to be their most likely source of goals.

Alongside Harewood, the Premier League debutants have today clinched the signing of Derby County forward Luke Varney on a season long loan. With out trying to sound to harsh, this is a player that the fans of very few Championship clubs would get even slightly excited about turning out for their team. The fact that Varney was being linked just last week to a move to former club, Crewe, in League Two suggests that Varney is likely to make very little impact against world class defenders and Titus Bramble.

To compliment the duo of Harewood and Varney, Holloway also has Gary Taylor-Fletcher who three years ago was playing in League One with Huddersfield and Brett Ormerod whose only previous spell in the Premier League with Southampton brought about just 17 goals in three and a bit seasons.

Used to be a Terrier, now a brightly coloured fruit

Their opening weekend success over Lancashire rivals Wigan seemed to suggest that they could surprise a few people this season, although 4-0 seems to be the par score when playing Roberto Martinez's side at the moment. Then the tangerines were struck with a stark dose of Premier League realism at the Emirates when the pace of Theo Walcott tore their defence to pieces in a 6-0 loss. The acid test for Ian Holloway's men will be how they react to that thumping at home to Fulham on Saturday. A defeat to the Londoners and all the momentum gained from the victory over Wigan will disappear, but if they grab a positive result then the Arsenal loss will simply be seen as a blip.

The statistics don't look too positive for Blackpool and the signings that Ian Holloway has been able to make during the summer highlight how unprepared the club is financially for life in the Premier League, yet with three points from two opening away games, perhaps the Seaside club can produce a magnificent surprise and stay in the League beyond this season, it seems so unlikely it may just be worth a bet.

Hmm, I wonder what the odds are on Harewood and Varney being England internationals this time next year?

Just how bad are Wigan?

Wigan completed possibly the worst opening week to a new Premier League season as they were trounced 6-0 by Chelsea at the DW Stadium, a result only slightly less embarrassing than their walloping by Blackpool last weekend.

Off the back of another terrible defeat Athletic unsurprisingly sit rock bottom of the League with a goal difference of -10, not even the worst team in Premier League history, the Derby County side of 2007/8 can lay claim to such an abysmal start.

Chris Kirkland concedes yet another goal

In Roberto Martinez's first season as Wigan boss last year the Lancashire side suffered the occasional huge defeat, most notably the 9-1 embarrassment at White Hart Lane and a final day 8-0 loss to Chelsea. These were seen by most people as blips in an otherwise mundane season and generally it was considered that Wigan were playing an attractive style of football and improving under Martinez's tutelage. However, with ten goals put past Chris Kirkland in the first hundred and eighty minutes of the season Wigan's fans must be seriously concerned about their teams prospects over the coming 36 fixtures.

Perhaps the problem lies in the hands of the manager, Martinez who is only in his third full season as a manager, having gained just one years experience before moving to the DW with Swansea. Is the Spaniards lack of managerial experience and the even thinner finances available at his disposable starting to prove catastrophic for the predominantly Rugby League centred town?

Even though the season is in its embryonic stages it is already looking like this could be the year when Dave Whelan's dream could take it's first backward steps with relegation from the holy grail of the Premier League. Wigan's normally Mr reliable, Kirkland was responsible for two of the four goals against Blackpool and doesn't look like the one time future England No.1 any more and arguably Athletic's most talented player, Chalres N'Zogbia looks certain to leave within days, the future does not look bright. The fact that selling Titus Bramble to Sunderland in the summer is looking like a regrettable decision already sums up the problems that Wigan Athletic seem to have this season.

Cole now worse than thirteen year old self

After ninety minutes of dreary minor European football it emerged that Joe Cole is now worse than when he was a wee thirteen year old lad (and only 3 inches taller). After seeing his second-half penalty saved by the Trabzonspor 'Keeper, Cole revealed to ITV's 'investigative' reporter, Gabriel Clarke that he has not taken a penalty since he was a kid, when he scored.

Cole looked confident upon grabbing the ball and stepping up to the spot when Liverpool's mister popular, Lucas Leiva was felled in the penalty box by the Turkish sides right-back. However, he then proceeded to hit the ball at the perfect hight and speed for the goalkeeper to parry away.

This means that in the three games he has played at Anfield since signing for Liverpool he has been,
1. So anonymous I very nearly forgot he had played three times at Anfield.
2. Sent off before the first-half has ended.
3. Been anonymous once again and missed a penalty in front of a silent Kop.

It would be fair to say that Cole's start to his new career hasn't gone quite as he might have planned it whilst on a much needed holiday after all that exhaustive bench sitting he undertook in South Africa. Add to all this the fact that the former West Ham graduate was excluded from the recent England squad and perhaps Cole's fresh start has gone stale. But to all you Joe Cole fans, do not despair, there is always the future of English football, Jack Wilshere to look forward to.

£24million for a warm seat?

At last it's all over. The rumours and the speculation can finally stop. This summers drawn out, tiresome headline transfer saga has come to an end. That's right, Jon Walters has completed his move from Ipswich to Stoke for the princely (well princely for a mid-table Championship side at least) sum of £2.75million. Not a bad fee for a back-up to Stoke's chief totem pole for Rory Delap to aim at, Kenwyne Jones. O, and while I remember it,  some bloke called James Milner has joined Blank Cheque City.


Yep, Milner's protracted transfer to Man City was finalised today for £24million, with City even being kind enough to pass over the cheeky Irish scamp, Stephen Ireland to Aston Villa. Now, i'm not sure if I am the only one on planet Earth to feel this, but it seems that Villa have produced the footballing equivalent of a backstreet mugging. Just over a year ago Ireland was voted the player of the year by Man City's fans and now he's been sidled out of the club as a footnote. 


Ireland has terrific creativity, vision and passing range, combine this with his pace and eye for goal and you have a wonderfully gifted young player that should perfectly into Villa's midfield. Milner likewise has a handy trait of finding the net and stamina levels that would make even Russell Brand proud. The question is where does Milner fit into Roberto Mancini's starting eleven? The England international earned himself rave reviews in the centre of the midfield last season and if he wants to do so again for his new club then he will have to fight off the challenge of Yaya Toure, De Jong, Gareth Barry and Vieira, all of whom it is fair to say are pretty decent. 


So, Man City have paid £24million for someone who may not even be able to get on their bench and Aston Villa had got themselves a guaranteed starter. This does not sound like the the finest deal the footballing world has seen, but do City's blindingly rich owners care, I doubt it. Although I suppose after you have agreed to pay Yaya Toure £200,000 a week you give up caring.


On a sidenote, I realise I make it sound like I don't enjoy the daily conjecture about whether a multi-millionaire footballer will stop wearing one clubs shirt and start wearing another because they offered him a little more pocket money to spend on sweets. In reality however, like most single football obsessed men with nothing better to do I actually love the debate and speculation. I trawl the newspaper and websites for that next piece of juicy gossip about the future of Swansea's third choice right back. 


But all this makes me normal...right?

Something light for starters

The new football season is 10 days old and first impressions suggest Man City will have to spend another £200million to have any chance of winning the title. On the other side of Manchester it seems everyone's favourite ginger, Paul Scholes is still the best passer in the country and West Brom have assumed their biennial top flight status of that club who plays 'nice football', but gets regularly pummelled into submission by any team with a half decent striker.

My highlight of the first weekend of the Premier League has to be the intriguing moustache growing on the face of Joey Barton. To be fair to the Newcastle midfielder it does make a nice change for him to be in the news for something other than using his team-mates face as an ashtray. Barton now bears an uncanny resemblance to a WW2 fighter pilot, minus the flying goggles. The one time England international (anyone else remember his 12 minutes of fame against Spain in 2007?) has promised he won't shave his tash until Newcastle win, so we could be seeing this fine piece of facial hair for quite a while.

Lower down the Leagues there are already two managers who will be making a visit to the Job Centre in the near future, well one anyway. Steve Coppell clearly wasn't a fan of West Country life, just two games into his tenure at Bristol City and he got the urge to leave football for good. No such claims from Kevin Blackwell however. His Sheffield United side did so poorly in their opening two fixtures that he was hastily removed and replaced with Gary Speed.

It's also worth noting the three clubs at the top of the Football Leagues. Millwall, Oldham and Torquay are currently kings of their respective castles, the odds on them still being there come May could be quite long.